Revelations in Transfiguration
by Psycho Hippy
Summary: Ron discovers another side to his best friend. DH slash. Rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

Revelations in Transfiguration Summary: Ron discovers another side to his best friend. H/D R/Hr 

Warning: This contains slash! If you don't like slash, then go away.

**Bold **are Ron's thoughts.

Harry wearily opened the portrait hole, grimy and exhausted from Quidditch practice. He was greeted with an awkward sight that was unfortunately rather familiar to him. His two best friends, Ron and Hermione, were sitting by the fire in opposite armchairs, glaring evilly at each other. As soon as Harry stepped forward they both turned towards him, angrily.

"Harry! Will you please tell Hermione to stop writing to Krum! She won't listen to me! She insists on fraternising with the enemy…"

"I _insist_ on you staying out of my life, Ronald! Harry, tell him, Krum is on our side! And anyway I'm only friends with him so…"

Harry groaned inside his head and tried to ignore the quarrel. This was just not fair. When people with _normal_ friends get back from Quidditch practice, the _normal_ friends would keep quiet and let him relax. It was just his luck that he had chosen _weird_ friends who bombarded him with every argument they'd encountered that day and expected him to resolve them. There were quite a lot of arguments as his _weird_ friends were hormone ridden teenagers that constantly bickered like an old married couple but insisted they were just friends. Yeah, sure, whatever.

"You were cooing over a letter from him! You don't go all mushy over a letter from a friend!"

"I was not going mushy! And you might not have heard of them, Ronald, but other people have things called emotions!"

"You don't know anything about my emotions, Hermione! It's just so obvious that _Vicky_ is using you to get close to Harry!"

"It might seem impossible to you but I am able to make friends outside of you two! Just because you seem to think I'm a know-it-all, doesn't mean everyone else thinks that too!"

"I never called you a…"

"I suppose you just put up with me because you need to copy my work! Well, Ronald, you might find it amazing but I do actually have the ability to make friends!"

Hermione whirled round and ran upstairs to the girls' dorms. However she didn't turn round fast enough and Harry saw tears glistening in her eyes. Ron, of course, was oblivious.

"I can't believe her! She's twisting my words round. Just because she's cleverer than me…she's too stubborn! I was only telling her the truth!" Harry sighed impatiently.

"Ron, are you sure it's not because you're just a bit jealous?" Ron's mouth dropped and he stared at Harry.

"No! Why would you think that? Why would I be jealous?" Harry's temper finally snapped.

"Because it's so obvious that you two are besotted with each other! Hermione has accepted it, Ron, so why can't you!" Ron's eyes grew even wider.

"But…but she fancies Krum…" Harry threw his hands up.

"I give up!" He snatched his Herbology essay from his school bag on the table and grabbed a quill and some ink.

For a while there was complete silence except for the scratching and rustle of Harry working. Ron was clearly thinking hard. Harry was just beginning to feel guilty when his friend spoke quietly.

"Can I borrow your Transfiguration notes? I need to look something up." Harry nodded curtly. Ron rifled through Harry's bag until he found the pages of notes. He skimmed through them but looked confused.

"Harry, they're not there. I need yesterdays notes." The green eyes looked up distractedly.

"Oh buggar, they're in my journal. I didn't have any parchment on me so I used that. Sorry, mate, I'll go get it." He left his essay half done and strode up the stairs. Ron raised his eyebrows. A journal? He hadn't thought Harry was the journal type. Well. You learn something new everyday. He decided not to poke fun until after he had used the notes.

Harry was soon back with a small, dark purple notebook. He handed it to Ron, who couldn't resist a comment.

"I didn't know you had a journal."

"Yeah. I saw it in the shop and couldn't refuse it. It's got a really cool function – you save stuff as memories instead of writing it down. Saves time. You can activate the memory by tapping it with your wand. Ron nodded and opened the book grinning slightly. It consisted of neatly written dates and labels. Ron was impressed – he couldn't help himself. It looked nearly gadgety enough to persuade him to buy one. If it hadn't been a journal that is.

Grinning, Ron flicked through the dates until he reached yesterday. There, in Harry's flowing script, was the label 'Transfiguration'. Perfect.

Ron tapped the words cautiously with his wand. For a while, nothing happened, and Ron thought he'd broken it. He glanced nervously at Harry and was just swearing in his mind when the book suddenly flared with purple light. He felt his head being yanked forward and suddenly he was falling and spinning in a terrifying whirl of colour and sound.

Then, just as suddenly, his feet touched earth and the world stilled again. Ron blinked. He was standing back in Transfiguration class. He, Harry and Hermione were sitting at a four-place table with Neville at the end. He could see Harry showing his notes to Neville – notes that Harry had copied off Hermione.

Ron grinned wryly at his memory self. **All of us would have failed of it wasn't for Hermione. She really is a lifesaver.** Then Ron remembered he was angry with Hermione and scowled. **It's all Krum's fault…**

Returning to his bad mood, he stalked over to the group and peered over at his own notes, which he would lose sometime during Potions.

Ah, there it was. Twirl the wand tip and tap the frog on the _back_, not the head. Ron grinned sheepishly and looked around again. Now he had the information, all he had to do was wait for the memory to finish.

Bored, he watched Hermione writing avidly. **It's amazing how much that girl can cram into a single lesson. She always writes more than Harry or me but her writing is so much smaller…**

Ron jumped out of his musings as McGonagall began talking, telling the class to pack up. She'd let them out late as usual – he could see Harry glancing at his watch, annoyed.

Then he noticed something he hadn't seen in class yesterday. Harry looked up at someone across the classroom and mouthed something at him or her – Ron couldn't make it out. Surprised, he tried to see who the person was but Harry had already turned away with a smirk and was striding out of the classroom after Hermione.

Ron followed them, along with his memory self. As the pair caught up with their friends, Ron was able to clearly hear their conversation.

"Guys, I think I'm gonna skip lunch." Harry was saying. Ron saw his opposite's face crumple in concern.

"Are you alright, mate?" Harry nodded.

"Yeah, fine, I'm just not hungry. I ate a lot at breakfast."

"Well…alright then. See you later." Ron could see his memory self was reassured. "C'mon Hermione." Ron was wondering whom he should go with when he saw something else he'd missed yesterday. As his opposite turned to go to lunch, Hermione sent a knowing look towards Harry who smiled slightly back. Then Hermione followed the opposite to the Great Hall.

Ron's curiosity was ignited. Hermione was the most observant person he knew and clearly knew something he didn't. He decided to follow Harry – maybe he would find out whom Harry had been mouthing at a few minutes ago.

He tailed Harry up two floors and through a few corridors until finally they arrived at the Charms classroom. Ron waited eagerly as Harry checked around for teachers, then entered the classroom. Ron slipped in quickly before he closed the door behind him.

It was deserted. Ron now felt a bit confused. Harry had sat down on a desk and was clearly waiting for someone. It couldn't be a teacher or Harry wouldn't have lied. It was all very mysterious.

Harry suddenly looked round, smiling as the door opened and closed again. To Ron's utmost shock and bewilderment, Draco Malfoy stepped forward, looking slightly irritated. Before Ron's brain had a chance to offer an explanation, the pale boy began talking.

"That was dangerous, in Transfiguration. Your friends might have noticed."

"Hermione already knows and Ron never notices stuff like that."

Hey! Wait, stuff like what… 

"Shut up…it was still dangerous."

"Aw, you're just upset because I beat you getting up here." Malfoy pouted.

Wait, that's wrong too. Malfoy does not pout… 

"Yeah, well, you try convincing Crabbe and Goyle that there are things in life that are more important than lunch."

"Nah, I can't speak Troll."

"Does your brain not have the capacity?"

**Insults, thank God, much more familiar. They're probably here to duel. That's it. They're here to duel.**

"That was a bit harsh…"

"I'm sure you'll survive"

"Nope, I'm scarred for life…but I know something that might help…" The Malfoy smirk made its entrance.

"Oh? What would that be?"

"I think you know." Malfoy raised an eyebrow and walked over to Harry, still smirking.

**What the…!** Ron watched, horrified, as Malfoy leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Harry's. After he realised Harry was not pushing Malfoy away and hexing him into the next millennium, Ron started to get _very_ worried.

**Okay, so they're not duelling.** Ron closed his eyes and shook his head vigorously.

**Now, when I open my eyes, the image will be gone. I will have imagined it in my sick, perverted teenage mind…** He opened one eyes cautiously. Now their mouths were open and Harry's hands were in Malfoy's hair.

**Shit!** Ron looked desperately towards the door. His hand would be able to grip…and it was closed. He was trapped.

Ron closed his eyes tightly and clamped his hands over his ears as one of the pair moaned slightly.

**Shit, shit, shit! Fuck! Double fucking…no! Don't use that word! Don't use that word!** Ron tried humming to block out the noise but now Harry was talking as Malfoy kissed his neck…saying things that were corrupting Ron's virgin ears.

Finally Ron began muttering to try and distract himself from the trauma.

"Please, please, leave me alone, go away, make it go away, please, go, make it…make it STOP!"

Suddenly Ron was being lifted and whirled around again, colours merging and sounds getting confused as he spiralled out the memory and back to sanity.

Harry had a _lot_ of explaining to do.


	2. Epilogue

A/N: Well, normally I only do one-shots but someone asked for another chapter…and I couldn't resist ;; Warnings are the same as the first chapter and I've just realised I put no disclaimer on. Whoops…characters are not mine! Please don't sue?

* * *

Ron landed with a thump on the common room floor. Frantically, he scrambled to his feet, staring wildly at Harry, who had finished his essay and was lounging in an armchair. Harry's grin faded at the look on his friend's face.

"Ron? Mate, what's…" Ron let out a strangled gasp and pointed a finger at the purple journal on the table, as though it was about to leap up and eat him.

"You…Malfoy…you…argh!" Comprehension dawned and Harry suddenly looked very worried.

"Oh. Shit. Er, Ron?"

"Gah!" Ron seemed to be unable to speak coherently. Harry rose from the chair.

"Ron?" The red head recoiled and took a step backwards, mumbling under his breath.

"Er…look, Ron, I know you're upset but…" Ron found his voice.

"Upset? _Upset_!" Harry cringed. Ron was not taking this the way he had hoped. "I have just found out that you've been snogging _Malfoy_ in random classrooms for Merlin knows how long, _and_ I happen to have been forced to _watch_ you snog _and_ am now probably going to have _nightmares_ about you snogging, and you're calling me _upset!_" A ringing silence followed the outburst. Then,

"What on earth is going on?" Hermione was standing at the base of the girl's staircase, hands on hips, scowling. "I'm trying to read and all I can hear is Ron having a tantrum! What is the matter now?" Harry made a face.

"Well, I think…Ron may have possibly found out about me and Malfoy?" Hermione's hand flew to her mouth.

"Oh."

"Yeah." Ron rounded on Hermione.

"You knew!"

"I guessed. Ron, listen…"

"Don't you dare tell me to listen! I have been traumatised beyond belief! Malfoy?" This last part was directed at Harry, who winced.

"Er…yeah…him…"

"Him? Is that it? That's all you have to say? Not only is my best friend gay, which is going to take some getting used to on it's own, but he's also making out with Malfoy! It just gets better!" Ron collapsed back onto the floor. Harry was still standing up and looking rather awkward and embarrassed. Hermione, on the other hand, was frowning sternly at Ron.

"Really, I can't believe you notice something before." Both boys stared at her, Ron in disbelief, Harry looking rather nervous.

"What do you mean 'notice something before'? What was I meant to notice?"

"Well, haven't you ever wondered where Harry goes when he stays out all night?" Harry shook his head vigorously and motioned for Hermione to _shut up_ but it was too late. Ron's eyes bulged.

"OH MY GOD! What…what…what the hell were you doing to stay out so long?" Harry blushed and mumbled something while glaring formidably at Hermione. Who clearly still hadn't got the message.

"Really, Ron, are you that naïve? What do you think they were doing?" Ron gaped at her.

"But…how…how…they can't…they're both boys!" Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, well done…"

"So how would they do that? It's…it's not possible!" Harry groaned and sunk into a chair, burying his face into his hands to hide his burning cheeks. This was _not_ happening…

"Are you saying you don't know how it's physically feasible for males to engage in carnal relationships with other males? Ron looked suspicious.

"What now?" Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes.

"You don't know how gay sex works?" Ron flinched visibly but shook how head.

"How can you not know?"

"Why should I know? I'm not gay!" Hermione's eyes glinted and a mischievous smirk lit her features.

"Right…" She then proceeded to explain it all to Ron in what Harry thought was far too much detail. By the end, Ron was a sickly yellow colour and Harry's face matched the crimson curtains. Hermione, however, smiled benignly and patted Ron on the head as though she had just told him a delightful bedtime story about bunnies dancing in Happy Land.

"Now that's done I'd quite like to get back to my book. I would suggest that you two get on with homework but you've probably got more important things to do…like cry or give Malfoy a blowjob." Ron spluttered. Hermione's wicked grin just grew wider. "Well, I guess I'll see you both tomorrow. Don't stay up too late!"

Ron stared at her in horror as she made her way up the staircase. He then slowly turned to look at Harry, who was watching the fire determinedly.

"Harry…do you really do all that stuff with Malfoy?" There was a pleading note in Ron's voice.

"Of course not, Ron." Ron whimpered. Harry shut his eyes. He was _such_ a bad liar…

There was a very uncomfortable silence.

"Harry?" He didn't open his eyes.

"Yes?"

"What the hell is a blowjob?"

* * *

Woot, finally done! I'm sorry this took so long but I have mountains of work at school including biology coursework and chemistry coursework. And of course I can't update at school…because the system sucks.

Please review! If you have any idea how happy it makes me you will!


End file.
